Sunday, September 7, 2008

You either do or you don't

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I wasn't sure what to write this month. I have a lot swirling around in my mind but I find it all very difficult to write about. Yesterday this verse popped into my head which I believe was a result of the spirit living in me. I love this verse but on this tenth month of being logged in (with NO end in MY sight), I have to admit I am not trusting in the Lord with ALL my heart. I think if I were trusting with ALL my heart, I wouldn't feel so much angst and uncertainty. So, I guess since I'm just sort of trusting in Him in essence it means I'm NOT trusting Him because you either do or don't.

Lord, I ask that you cause me to completely TRUST you. Help me to BELIEVE 100% that you are going to smooth and shorten the path to our daughter by removing the current obstacles in China. I know I'm not in control over anything and that you are in complete control. What seems impossible is possible. I know it isn't at all constructive or healthy for me to fret and worry like I have been these past few months, nor does it do a very effective job of acknowledging you and your power. You know the entire story--beginning to end. Help me to trust that it is a beautiful story with a very happy ending. In your son's name I pray, Amen.


Heather said...

Oh, you speak to the very heart of me...I wish I had words to comfort you as you seek to trust Him with all your heart, but I don't. I do know that the Lord has a plan, it is specific and your steps are numbered that you might press in for the prize. None of that completely releases you from the uncertainty that is adoption this very day. I love you and will continue to stand in the gap with you - I know Mei Mei is comng home, and I trust Him to make that clear.

I love you

Jaime said...

I am praying too.

Jewels of My Heart said...

Dear Lisa,
I am sorry for how difficult this journey is.... I know how heartbreaking it can be to wait for your child.... But I am not sorry that the God loves you enough and YOUR child enough to make you wait.... He KNOWS who YOUR child is.... He has always known... and He loves you and your child enough to make certain that the CCAA does not move one day sooner than they need to to make certain that you are matched with your precious baby..... I know your arms ache to hold her... but I also know they ache for just that... to hold YOUR baby.... not anyone elses...
Stay the coarse.... Weeping endures for a night but joy cometh in the morning.
God's Speed,

Karen said...

Praying with you...I know this wait is so difficult.


DiJo said...

Hey Friend!
Like Heather, I find it a gift to stand in the gap for you!!!! Thank you for posting this. Sometimes I forget what it was like to daily wonder about the child that would someday be mine! I remember clearly all the times I called you in despair, and you picked me up, never questioning, or judging my lack of patience! I am reminded tonight about all of the prayers we had for Ruby's protection, that she was being loved, that she was safe, etc... God answered those prayers above and beyond what I could have ever imagined! My prayer for you tonight is that the Holy Spirit will constantly give you peace as He gently reminds you of how God has acted in the past. I pray it will give you greater faith to wait as long as it takes for your precious one!


Chris said...

I have been there myself. I know it is easier said than done, but keep the FAITH!! Not only does our great God have a perfect plan for you, but also perfect timing.
A bible verse that has been coming to mind as well is 1 Peter 1:7;
These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. And our children will be our finest treasures, they are so worth it!!
Hang in there! I am thinking of you and praying for the Lord to give you peace and joy during these times of difficulty! You are not alone my friend!!!!
Sending hugs and prayers your way!

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

Beautiful post! I am praying with you!

Amanda said...

I'm still praying for you every night!