January 4, 2011

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice.
In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

Hi! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Perhaps I'll get to sharing some pictures later. I am chronically behind.

This morning as I was "getting ready" (and I DO use the phrase loosely), I was transported to January 4, 2011. I almost remember it like it happened yesterday. I was blow drying my hair and praying, earnestly praying, for God to give me something that day about our stalled Taiwan adoption. It was a new year, the first day back in the routine, I knew we were embarking on a huge change with an impending move, and I really wanted to know what was going to happen with our wait for our next daughter, so I asked. 

I proceeded to take Lindy to school, go to the store to restock our bare refrigerator shelves and pantry, and get things accomplished with a new energy that seemed to accompany the new year (that I'd love to have today).

I got back from the store and checked my email and found one from our case worker with our adoption agency.  It said our file had been reviewed by the organization in Taiwan and they had concerns about my medical history and she needed to speak with us immediately. I think I was so happy to hear our file was finally being reviewed for a potential match that I didn't pick up on the tone of the message. I quickly responded and attached medicals (they already had) and an optimistic let's just talk this thing through.

At 11:11 a.m., I got a call from our agency that permanently changed our life.  Can I just tell you for dozens of years I've always been convinced in a very non-superstitious way that something really bad or really good would happen for me at that time? My case worker informed us the organization in Taiwan didn't want or need any clarification on my medicals. They were turning us down. The pre-approval we'd obtained exactly two years earlier was now worthless. We now had a failed adoption to add to our list of life experiences and we were absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I had asked for God to give me something that day and He delivered in a way I didn't expect or think I wanted.

I will share more of the story and ensuing days later. However, today I just want to remind you that when you ask God for something, you really need to be prepared for Him to answer. I realized that day I was extremely surprised He delivered an answer so quickly.  That's kind of a sad and fairly faithless testimony to think I was pretty shocked that God--the creator of this universe--would give an answer of such magnitude in a span of less than five hours. I believe He wants us to ask but I also believe He wants us to trust that He will answer us. Second, and probably more obvious, the answer might not always be what you want but it is what He KNOWS is best for us. Being lavished with smooshy kisses and hugs as I attempt to type this post, totally substantiates that!

Blessings in this new year!!!


Lisa