Gotcha Day

Well we have Millie.  I know everyone just wants to see pictures but we are using the hotel business center and our picture resolution is too hi to upload.  I'll change the settings in one camera and get some photos uploaded soon.

We went to the Provincial center on Monday at aout 10:30.  As we drove up a lady from the  orphanage was also arriving with Millie so we got to see her right away and ride with her in the elevator up to the ninth floor.  She knew we were mama and baba as she had seen the picture book we sent.  She was beautiful and was in pretty good spirits.  She allowed Lisa to hold her but was afraid of Don.  She has a little temper and will let you know when she isn't happy although she doesn't fight too long and chills out pretty quickly.  She is quite a talker, is very determined when she wants to see something, and is very neat and orderly.  She is potty trained which is nice but she will only tell you she needs to go so we quickly had to learn to recognize that Chinese phrase. 

Overall the day was long as we completed all adoption paperwork and applied for her passport.  Now we get to relax for a few days, bond with her, and wait for passport pickup on Friday in order to head to Guangzhou.  Today (Tuesday) we are relaxing at the hotel and then going out this afternoon to tour a museum.  Urumqi is a very interesting place with all the various cultures. 

Thanks for all the emails.  I'm assuming there are some

blog comments but Blogger seems to be blocked here.  Off to work on smaller pictures.

Don

Urumqi

Well we finished up in Beijing and headed on to Urumqi.  It was about 4.5 hours away by air to the Northwest part of China.  When we landed it was pouring rain and about 48 degrees.  The hotel was supposed to be only about 30 minutes from the airport but with traffic and rain it took 2.5 hours.  Oh well.  We're here and get Millie at 10am on Monday morning. 

Can't wait.

We made it to Beijing

Ni hao from Beijing!  We made it to Beijing on Friday with no problems.  We were able to get a fairly decent night's sleep and filled up on a good breakfast before hitting the traffic and sights of Beijing.  Last time we did not have a chance to see the Forbidden City so we were thankful to have the opportunity to visit it today with a few thousand of our closest friends.  Our guide, Sue, took more pictures of us together than we have had in 19 years.  The area was much larger than we had imagined!  After that, we saw a Cloisonne factory, had lunch, and then went to the Great Wall--which we didn't know was on the itinerary again.  We worked off our big breakfast and lived to tell about it.  For some reason there is always a 90 year old woman climbing that gives that extra dose of inspiration or guilt.  Today there were old women AND a man with one leg climbing.  Like most places of interest and history there was some vandalism on the wall.  However, one of my favorite pictures of the day--although vandalism--pretty much sums how we feel.

Don is super happy because the hotel has ESPN and we were able to watch some baseball and hear which team the Rangers will be playing.  

Tomorrow we depart Beijing and travel to the city of Urumqi which is where Millie is.  We are getting closer to our girl.  

We miss home but feel your prayers.

We will post again when we have the chance!!!

Love~

Don & Lisa 

Your gift to us

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

Prior to leaving to bring home Hope this past summer, my super cool friend, Elissa, sent out a prayer itinerary to her family and friends. I thought it was a fantastic idea, so I decided to snag her idea and come up with one of our own. Imitation is a great form of flattery, right?

So, if you would, please give us the gift of prayer. It would mean so much to us.

Proposed Itinerary

Now-Pray for our health, stamina, and attitudes as we try to attend to each detail prior to the trip. Don has been away on business all week and is flying the red eye home and won't roll in until today sometime. (Can you say tired?) We have (lots of) funds to gather, bags to pack, prescriptions to be filled, paperwork to assemble, copies to be made, doctors to be contacted, notes to be sent, bills to be paid, housework to be done, etc., etc.

Please pray for us to be able to think clearly and know what needs to be done, what can be delegated, and not go crazy in the process. I'm not going to lie, I'm a stress case right now and my need for control is making me a bear. I need to breathe and have peace. I become happier as I see visible progress and things crossed off the list. Praying to see MANY more items crossed off my list in the next day.

Please pray for my parents to arrive safely (on Monday) and stay healthy as they make their way to our home to stay with Lindy.

Thursday, October 6th-Don and I are scheduled to leave at 12:39 pm. Please pray for easy goodbyes as we drop off Lindy to school, our departure to be on time, and for a very capable crew as we "fly the friendly skies" and head to China! It is supposed to be a non-stop flight, we'd like for it to stay that way.

Friday, October 7th- We are scheduled to arrive in Beijing at 2:20 pm. Based on experience, my biggest prayer is for a good night's sleep. This travel does CRAZY things to one's body.

Saturday, October 8th- We are supposed to have an opportunity to do some sightseeing--most likely in the Forbidden City, an excursion we missed last time. Prayers for a nice, relaxing day for the two of us. Having the time as just a couple is a rare commodity for us. I imagine it will not get any easier to find alone time with two children. We'd also love for our nephew, Jake, to have a super birthday!

Sunday, October 9th-Please pray for our safety as we leave Beijing and fly to Urumqi City on an airline I've never heard of. Their website says they are a "world five star airline," so I don't anticipate hanging out with cargo. It is about a six hour flight. China is a BIG country! Prayers of thanksgiving for my Grandpa as he celebrates his 86th birthday!

Monday, October 10th-MILLIE MEI DAY! We don't have a time yet but at some point during this day we will finally meet Xin Mei Ting in the Xinjiang Provincial Adoption Center. I'm not really clear but it looks like it might be our official adoption day, too. With Lindy it was "official" on the day after we met her and that is what we called our "Forever Family Day."

Lately, when I look at Xin Mei Ting's smiling face, I see a child who is so loved. She is already part of a family--just not the family God intended for her. She has fingernail polish and styled hair and is clearly given the gift of time and attention. All this brings such happiness to my waiting heart but it also brings the reality of what is going to happen on this day. A child is going to be removed from EVERYTHING familiar and placed in the arms of strangers. Please pray for Xin Mei Ting to work through this initial shock as easily as possible and for us to be strong for her and to have the wisdom to help her through her grief. Also, please pray for her foster family who loved her and is now saying, "goodbye." I imagine that little sweetheart who captured our hearts with her big smile will leave a big void in their hearts.

Tuesday, October 11th-Please pray we'll be able to have the ability to communicate with loved ones back home via some method during our trip. Sweet Sara is going to be my guest blogger (will take our emails and pictures and put them in the blog). I know there will be a very anxious BIG SISTER waiting to see her little sister but time differences and other factors can make communication a challenge. Oh, since we're talking communication, please pray we'll be able to successfully communicate with our toddler who knows Mandarin. We know the handful of words we've learned on Ni Hao Kai-Lan.

Wednesday, October 12th-We didn't see it on our itinerary but we've asked to build in time to tour the orphanage. We want to see where Millie has been for her entire life. Please pray we will be allowed to visit. Additionally, I have "met" a fellow Urumqi waiting mom and am hoping to deliver a care package to the daughter for whom she waits and take pictures of her.

Thursday, October 13th-Please pray for the three of us to have a special day as we tour Urumqi City. Please pray for continued bonding, developing trust, and for us to learn more and more about Millie.

Friday, October 14th-Happy birthday, Uncle Robbie! After we pick up essential adoption paperwork and Millie's passport in the morning, we will make our way to the airport. Oh how I wish we were heading home. However, at this point we will only be halfway through our trip. We will leave Millie's province and head to the city of Guangzhou. Please pray for our safety and an uneventful flying debut for Millie. It is about the equivalent of a coast-to-coast flight and we'll have a limited bag of tricks. Benadryl anyone? NO JUDGING! We've had more than one very fine pediatrician recommend this little cocktail. It didn't work for big sis. Let's pray it does for the little one!

I remember such a sadness and the tears I had when we left Changsha with Lindy. I anticipate I will have a similar sadness as I leave my daughter's first home. These first few days together are filled with so many bittersweet moments.

I am pretty sure my parents will be taking a road trip this weekend after Lindy gets out of school. Please pray for their safety and a lot of fun times!

Saturday, October 15th-Sleep in right? Oh no. Today we will do paperwork, have Millie's pictures taken (not for fun), and have the mandatory medical examination. Please pray for Millie's exam to go well. This exam will include a TB test and possibly some vaccinations. Please pray for her to be found healthy and pass her exam. If she doesn't, we could have an undesired extended stay. We wouldn't mind prayers for our health, too.

Sunday, October 16th-Please pray we can attend church. I think it would be an amazing opportunity and experience for many reasons.

Monday, October 17th-We will return to the medical clinic to receive the results of Millie's TB exam. Please pray for favorable news and minimal flashbacks or trauma as she sees the men and women in white coats again.

Tuesday, October 18th-Please pray for our family at home--especially for Lindy to be focusing at school and behaving well for my parents.

Also, please pray for us to have some fun family times in Guangzhou.

Wednesday, October 19th-Today is our Visa appointment at the US Consulate. Please pray all our paperwork is in good order and for this part of the process to go as smoothly as we expect.

Thursday, October 20th-Please pray for us to have a great last day in China and for our Visa package to be ready at 3:30 pm--the LAST thing we need to leave.

Friday, October 21st-AKA longest.day.ever. At about 6:00 in the morning we will leave Guangzhou to make our way via van to the airport in Hong Kong. At 11:50 our flight is scheduled to leave and the really long journey begins. Please pray for our flight to be on time and for safe travels. Also, please pray that all of us will be able to rest at some point during the flight and for Millie to be a champ.

Millie will become an American citizen during our layover in Chicago. Woo hoo!!! We will have a couple hours there and then make our way home, hopefully landing close to 7:00 pm EDT where we will do our best to get to the excited big sister and grandparents as soon as possible.

I could use your prayers for my heart. Leaving China is a bittersweet time. This time it is even more bittersweet and I pray I won't be a complete emotional wreck in my presumed broken down, hormonal, weary state of exhaustion. I already know it'll be sad to leave the land of our daughters. I think most adoptive parents have encountered that feeling on some level. The happy part is that we're coming home with the daughter we waited so long for, prayed so hard for, and many times thought we just might never have. We will have living, breathing proof of God's amazing love and faithfulness and answered prayer! However, I'm not going to lie, it is so hard for me not to be bringing Millie home to San Antonio. Although it feels like a lifetime, we will only have been gone from San Antonio for six months on October 10th. The pain of the move is still very real to me and I carry a great ache in my heart knowing that so many of the people who faithfully prayed for us and carried us these past four and a half years won't be meeting Millie and be a part of her homecoming. In some cases, the day we showed people Millie's picture was the same day we told people we were moving. I am not sharing this to sound self-absorbed, selfish, or pathetic. They are my true feelings and truth is what you get here. I'm just so grateful for the people who were by our side through the good and bad, so I know I'll be missing them a lot more on this particular day.

That is not to say that Millie won't be loved in her new home and I in NO WAY want to take away from anyone else outside of San Antonio who has been supportive of us on any part of this journey. She is, without a doubt, loved and we are so blessed and humbled knowing that.

I apologize for the very lengthy post. If we aren't able to post during our travels, you will at least be able to "picture" what we might be doing. While you're picturing us, please make sure to see me at least 10 pounds thinner, with good hair, and a cute outfit. Ha ha!!!

Thank you, in advance, for your prayers. It will bring us great peace knowing we are covered.

At long last

I'm baaccckkk.

I've been a very negligent blogger. It is hard to believe that I haven't blogged (on any of our blogs) in 13 months.  So much has happened during my absence. (So much has changed with Blogger and my blog is way broken!)  It has been a long, hard, emotional year.  The best news is that "mei mei" the reason for this blog is REAL; she has a name; she has a face; and she is almost home.

One day I will document her story.  It is too long to do now but too special not to be recorded. For now, I am taking a break from packing and I want to share her beautiful face and the awesome news that in a little over two weeks we will have her in our arms and she will be our daughter forever.

We hope to be able to blog while we are in China and would love for you to follow along.

Meet Xin Mei Ting--soon to be Millie Mei Osborn.

  This is the first picture I saw of her and the rest is history...

 Sweet girl with a confusing, lost-in-translation dress!

 Bundled for winter. Almost two years old.

 Playing during summer.

 Playground princess!

 

 Pretty in pink!

 I can't believe how big my 2 1/2 year old is!

 Words can't express how much I love her!

Tickled pink!

What is going on???

Just checked out this very neglected blog to see that my wallpaper is gone.  What happened?  I don't know...Maybe this blog is about to expire due to neglect and abuse...

I'll add this to the to-do list.

Oh, and by the way, we're still waiting...

The sweetness of trying to find the "perfect" name

Since we've been waiting for mei mei for well over two years, one might think we'd be completely ready. We're not. One of the exciting things about having a new addition is coming up with a name.

Coming up with Lindy's name was pretty painless. There weren't any knockdown drag out fights, tears, or hurt feelings which has been known to take place in other households. Lindy is STILL really into pretend play and naming things; therefore, she has taken a great interest in what her sister's name will be. For fun, I've asked some of her suggestions. She has taken it quite seriously and usually says something like this: "Hey momma, what about _________ as a name for mei mei? Is that the perfect name? Is it? Is it? Is it?"

Here is what she's come up with lately:

1. Lulu (this has been the one she's said from the start)
2. Petal-October 2009
3. Cupcake-November 2009
4. Muffin-November 2009
5. Candycorn-November 25, 2009
6. Chippewa-November 25, 2009
7. Sprinkles-November 26, 2009
8. Lindy-November 26, 2009
9. Mei mei-January 2010
10.Sweetie-February 2010
11. Little Popcorn Pop-February 2010
12. Sugar Heart-February 2010

Based on her name selections, it sounds like we better keep our good dental insurance!

As painful as this wait has been at times, it thrills me that Lindy has maintained such an interest in her sister.

By the way, we don't have a name selected yet and I can confidently say that I don't think any of these sweet ideas will make the cut. However, we've all probably heard the urban legend of the twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello (say it together with a French sound), so you just never know...

Love with sprinkles on top~
Lisa

Disillusioned, down, discouraged, disappointed, devastated but not deserted

The title of this post is how I feel regarding this journey. I'm not sure many people read this blog but I want to capture some of my thoughts on virtual paper for the future.

In late November we received some information that helped us have a bit of a clearer picture as to how many families were ahead of us (with our agency). All of a sudden, Don and I had a revival of hope and we decided to pray this baby home in 2010. We believed it could and would happen in 2010 and projects concerning a nursery for baby girl and transitioning Lindy to a new room seemed potentially more pressing than they have in the past. I felt like an expectant mother (in my third year of gestation) and was happily thinking pink. The dreaming and excitement was fun while it lasted!

Not long after our new found excitement--December 8th to be exact--we received an email from our agency which contained some very discouraging news informing us we could be looking at potential delays of six to eight months (in addition to the built in wait time). In a word, I was devastated.

We have had two group conference calls with our agency and one individual call with our case worker but we still don't have much information as it appears things are still unfolding for them. We are supposed to have another conference call in February. Bottom line is that we (along with all the other waiting families) are victims of some red tape. When you hear words and phrases like "restructure," "regroup," "examine processes," you know things can't be great. I won't bore you with all the details that we know but I don't think it is realistic that we will bring home our daughter this year.

This past month hasn't been easy for me emotionally. Everything that seemed right has now caused me pain and has me feeling disillusioned. I know God holds the answers and knows how the story goes and He wants me to trust him, no matter what. I know He hasn't deserted us, nor will He. I just wish I felt stronger and more confident about things and my ability to endure.

As I write this, I really don't know what to write. As I pray, I really don't know what to pray. I guess our prayer is really the same that we one day (sooner than later) will have a beautiful, healthy baby girl to add to our family. However, we also desire clarity and peace in the process.

Many of you who have walked the adoption journey have experienced the kind of heartbreak we're dealing with right now, others have experienced disappointment in other areas of life. No matter what your story, thank you for the support you've shown and prayers you've offered. We truly appreciate them.

I will continue to provide updates as I hear them.

Hanging on by a thin red thread~
Lisa

YIKES!!!

I had a "yikes" moment a couple of days ago. Well, let's be honest, it was really more of a freak out moment. I saw a Facebook status update from a mommy who just returned from Taiwan last week with her sweet little daughter, Emily. It said something about jet lag and an almost seven month old, don't really go that well together.

Then it clicked--an almost seven month old is a six month old!!! Six month old!?!? Lindy was just a few days from being eleven months old when we met her. That's almost twice as old as a six month old (I'm awful at math, so I'm not going to bother to figure out the real number). Six months old sounds so young and little and, and, and...

BREATHE! I polled some of the other mommies who have adopted from Taiwan and most of the babies have been between five to eight months old when they've come home. Wow! That's awesome and it would be so wonderful but I skipped right over those months in the What to Expect...book and a baby that young seems so mysterious to me.

I'm not sure how old our daughter will be but I'm going to trust that no matter how old she is, that God will help us figure out our new little creature and bundle of love just like he did with Lindy.

If she is that young, looks like this momma bear will be doing some SHOPPING for smaller clothes and toys but man I hope I don't have to cart around one of those infant carriers that look so heavy and cumbersome!

September swap

Accessories--that is what the swap theme was for September. Well, as a girl who appreciates HER accessories, of course she LOVES them for her future baby girl!

Katie was so sweet to send this fun stuff!


As you can see, Baby Osborn got some bows, socks, cute little comfy shoes, and some much-needed travel toiletries.

This was the last swap gift and a great way to end a fun activity that helped get me in the mindset of having a baby again and pass the time in a good way. Thanks, Katie, for your generosity.

Please keep praying for the process to progress.

August swap

My monthly gift swap gifts arrived a few days ago. This month's theme was "Nursery." Well, I probably didn't give Heather much to go on as I have NO idea what mei mei's nursery will look like. I am not even sure which room she'll be living in. However, despite the fact that I didn't give any clues, Heather really blessed us!

First, one must love the pink, purple, and polka-dotted paper! I think I even have that same paper! I also loved the flocked or is it fleeced cherry blossom note card she sent--so pretty...


Here are the goodies she sent...

A precious shabby chic pink frame...Can't wait to see mei mei's face in there!!!

A wonderful pink crib sheet.
I'm pretty sure baby girl pink will be in the nursery no matter what.

A sweet bedtime book.
Ironically, I sent this to one of my swap buddies earlier.

Ballerina stickers for Lindy! So thoughtful!

Thank you, Heather, for blessing our family!

July swap ( a month later)

As I mentioned in my last post, some gifts have been rolling in for mei mei...

In July the gift swap theme was playtime. Beth, who is waiting to bring home Emily, sent me an awesome box of goodies for our girl(s)...

It was as if she knew Lindy always wears a bow!

Lindy tried it out and approves

So soft and sweet

We will use this to send pictures of our family to our baby girl after referral and while we wait to bring her home

Mei mei will also be a bow wearer even sooner than Lindy was

Thanks for the wonderful gifts, Beth! Can't wait to see you bring home Emily.

June Gift Swap

While we were waiting for Lindy, I got involved with a couple of Yahoo groups for other waiting families. That was kind of before the blog revolution and the onslaught of all the new social networking tools. Through those groups, I made some sweet friends and developed a wonderful support system. We even had secret pals which was so much fun!

Since our switch over to the Taiwan program, I've felt a little bit like a fish out of water. Recently, I got plugged in with a great group and am learning a lot of helpful information about the process of adopting from Taiwan.

Some of the waiting mommies decided to put together a secret pal gift swap and I didn't need anyone to twist my arm to join. I love to give. I love to receive and I figured it might help me remember this WILL happen.

The theme for June was bedtime. Mei mei got a darling footed sleeper and pink sleepsack. Mei mei wasn't the only recipient, though! I got a beautiful red thread bracelet. I wore a red thread bracelet that Don made me until the day I held Lindy for the first time. I haven't worn one this time and I'm not sure why. Now I will, thanks to Michelle's generosity and thoughtfulness.

For those of you new to my blog or unfamiliar with what I'm talking about, here is the legend of the red thread:

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

I know that each passing day the "thread" to this baby is getting shorter and my desire for her is getting stronger. One day...

Well, we prayed for a change...

One of our prayers during this period of waiting has been for God to remove the obstacles in China and to significantly speed up the process. There have been times where I've just asked for to see some positive changes. In two days our dossier has been officially logged in with the CCAA for 15 months. As far as we can tell, there is no end in sight--with China, that is.

While the situation in China doesn't appear to be changing, we are changing direction and we believe God is walking before us and preparing our path for this change. We have decided to pursue adopting a baby girl from Taiwan.

I had heard of people adopting from Taiwan but felt like I couldn't get a good grasp on the process. Don and I don't come to decisions easily and once we've decided to pursue something it isn't like us to change course. I pretty much had decided Taiwan wasn't in the cards for us because I couldn't figure out much about it and our agency didn't offer it, anyway--until now.

This summer our agency took over several Taiwan cases for an agency that went under. At that time, my interest was piqued but they weren't actually saying they were going to open a program. I expressed an interest but wasn't sure it would result in anything and guarded my heart from being too optimistic about it. After getting acquainted with the way things work and having a chance to develop some in-country contacts, our agency decided to begin offering a Taiwan program.

After some initial fact gathering and phone calls with the Taiwan caseworker, we took the steps to become pre-approved. On January 6th we received our pre-approval and were given the green light to proceed.

We just got our updated home study today and now have to make some changes with our immigration paperwork to let the U.S. know we'll be going to Taiwan instead of China. Once we have that completed, we will send our paperwork to Taiwan and do what we do best--wait...

Currently, the estimated wait time until referral is 12-18 months (which could increase). After we receive our referral we expect we will travel four to six months later. While it still seems so far away, this wait time feels more manageable and tolerable.

We have also decided to withdraw our dossier from China. We believe this child will be our last child. If for some reason this adoption doesn't work out, we are so blessed with our darling Lindy.

I have some sadness knowing that our next daughter isn't from mainland China but am excited to get to learn about Taiwan. One of my first questions was, "Well, how do they say little sister in Taiwan?" I was excited to learn that the answer is, "mei mei" since the most commonly spoken language is Mandarin. Already, I am trying to process the differences between how things are handled regarding the adoption process.

In the past few weeks we have gone from sorely discouraged, to cautiously optimistic, to hopeful excitement. As is typical of the adoption process, we've experienced quite the rollercoaster of emotions.

So again (or still), we ask for your prayers. As my dear friend Diana reminded me this week we have a God who deals with details and wants us to be specific with Him, so here are our specific requests:

• Please ask for the necessary changes to our immigration paperwork to go smoothly and quickly so that we can have our paperwork in Taiwan within the next few weeks.
• Please be pray for God to provide financially for this adoption. It is significantly more expensive and during these terrible economic times we specifically ask for Don to remain gainfully employed.
• Please pray for the birth parents. It is possible we will get to meet our daughter's birth mother which is a lot to think about given the contrast to our experience with Lindy. However, we pray that the birth parents are healthy and that the birth mother will make wise choices to take care of this little one before she is born.
• Please pray for us to be patient and to look for ways to enjoy the wait and find the joy in the journey. God has given us a beautiful daughter, already, and I want our last months/years as a family of three to be special.

Thank you for those of you who have been praying already, for those who have expressed concern, and been faithful followers of our journey. We appreciate your love and expressions of encouragement more than you know.

A dozen months down...

Hard as it is for me to believe, today our dossier for the child we affectionately refer to as, "mei mei" has been logged in one year. The other day my friend Diana asked me if the time has gone fast or slow. In all honesty, the time has flown by. It seems like no sooner had I written an update on this blog marking and trying to celebrate a month down, it was time to write another update. (Yep, I missed last month. There are only about two or three readers of this blog, so I figured they'd understand.) Life is whizzing by and I am often reminded of the words of a hymn I sung growing up, "Swiftly we're turning life's daily pages, swiftly the hours are turning to years..." So, it would seem like the fact that time is going by quickly would be cause for celebration. I have to be honest; it isn't. The fact that time is going by so quickly is also what pains me.

Please understand, I don't mean to be morbid, pessimistic, or sound terribly pathetic. I am a realist whose emotions run very deep and often very differently than those around me. The reality is that with each passing day, the face of our family changes as well as the dynamic I had hoped for. For example, Lindy is getting older--in fact she'll be three and a half years old TOMORROW. My hopes for two little girls about three years apart give or take is more realistically going to be much more than that. Another example is that it looks like I could be nearing "the change" and changing my own child's diapers at the same time. Again, not what I envisioned. There are many other examples of why the passage of time affects my thought process, but I don't want to utter them...

I know this probably sounds very whiny and I don't mean to whine. I probably wouldn't say much if I had a glimmer of some good, promising news regarding this process. The fact is, I don't. Our paperwork is beginning to expire and we're now going through the efforts to renew things, such as a home study which will take place next week. This probably won't be the last time we have to go through the update process, either. Season after season, I pack away Lindy's clothes and shoes and wonder when I will see our next daughter wear these well-cared for hand-me-downs. I used to think it would be late 2009 or early 2010. Now I don't even think it will be in 2011. An online referral predictor calculator tells me we won't receive a referral until September 2015.

Why so long? I just don't know. No one does, except God. While I can't explain the process at all, I do know some things about God. I know His hand is in the process and He has a master plan that is much better than my planning abilities. I also know He is faithful and won't desert me. I know He wants me to be patient and longsuffering and trust Him. He is using this period of waiting to stretch me and cause me to be more reliant on Him. I am not the first person He's put through a period of waiting and I won't be the last.

When I started this blog, I had no idea this journey would be as long as it appears it will be. I very simply intended to journal my feelings, share fun and exciting milestones, and document our journey. When I think about continuing to publicly document my feelings and emotions about this process on a routine basis, it seems kind of scary being so honest and vulnerable. I wouldn't want my disappointments, lack of hope or faith, or discouragement to cause anyone to lose faith in their own personal walk or negatively impact someone who might be considering adoption. I have decided to leave this blog dormant, for now, and forego my monthly posts. If a milestone or something newsworthy occurs, I will most certainly post.

If this is the only blog of mine you read, you are welcome to come visit Lindy's blog or our family blog for more regular, happier posts.

Last but definitely NOT least, I ask that you pray. Please pray for all the families who are traveling the road of adoption. If people aren't sure what to do, how to proceed, whether to wait or change course, I ask that you pray for God to give them wisdom and direction for what is best for each particular circumstance. I also ask for you to pray for the children. There are millions of orphans in this world needing forever families.

Thank you for your love, support, and kindess.

You either do or you don't

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I wasn't sure what to write this month. I have a lot swirling around in my mind but I find it all very difficult to write about. Yesterday this verse popped into my head which I believe was a result of the spirit living in me. I love this verse but on this tenth month of being logged in (with NO end in MY sight), I have to admit I am not trusting in the Lord with ALL my heart. I think if I were trusting with ALL my heart, I wouldn't feel so much angst and uncertainty. So, I guess since I'm just sort of trusting in Him in essence it means I'm NOT trusting Him because you either do or don't.

Lord, I ask that you cause me to completely TRUST you. Help me to BELIEVE 100% that you are going to smooth and shorten the path to our daughter by removing the current obstacles in China. I know I'm not in control over anything and that you are in complete control. What seems impossible is possible. I know it isn't at all constructive or healthy for me to fret and worry like I have been these past few months, nor does it do a very effective job of acknowledging you and your power. You know the entire story--beginning to end. Help me to trust that it is a beautiful story with a very happy ending. In your son's name I pray, Amen.

Not about to pop...

We've all seen the lady whose belly is so big with a baby (or babies) that she literally looks like she's going to pop. From the little I know, in that ninth month of pregnancy amazing and bizarre things happen to the expectant mother and her unborn child. The wait, which has seemed eternal, is almost over and soon, God-willing, a healthy child will come into this world. For most, it is an exciting time, a scary time, and an emotional time...

Today we have been officially "paper pregnant" for our second child for nine months. Nine months and I am not even close to popping! These are indeed emotional times for me. This month I have felt like I've had the hormones of a full-term pregnant woman. I am scared. I am uncertain. I am worried. I am struggling. I am impatient. I am losing hope. I also know I am not alone.

As often is the case, I seek guidance and comfort from the Psalms...Here is what comforted me today.

"Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord..." Psalm 27:14

Yes, Lord, I will wait...

Eight in '08

Today we've been logged in eight months for our next daughter. It amazes me to think we were logged in about eight and a half months before we got our referral for Lindy. While that wait seemed eternal, it is nothing compared to what we are facing to bring home this child.

There are days when I wish I could hold an object like a Magic 8-ball and ask it to give me an answer as to when we'll receive a referral or peer into a crystal ball to see us holding our daughter for the first time. However, I don't put my faith or trust in Magic 8-balls, crystal balls, or anything else but God. I trust that He knows all the answers that swirl around in my head and know He will reveal them in His perfect timing.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me..." John 14:1

Lucky seven

Make the least of all that goes and the most of all that comes. Don't regret what is past. Cherish what you have. Look forward to all that is to come. And most important of all, rely moment by moment on Jesus Christ.

Gigi Graham Tchividjian

Celebrating seven months down!!!

The six month blues...

Today we have been logged in six months. I have to admit it doesn't seem like a month has passed since I wrote the last post, so that is good news, in some way.

While we waited to bring Lindy home and as we've been waiting so far, the question, "why so long?" often comes up in conversation. The truth is, there are probably many factors. Many people think the massive preparation efforts for the Olympics in Beijing caused the severe slow down. In some ways it makes sense, but lately I am hearing that really isn't the main issue. I kind of wish it was because the Olympics begin in less than 100 days. It'd be nice to think that life in China will return to normal once they are over and wait times will significantly decrease.

It also appears our friend the economy might be impacting things. The dollar isn't as strong in China as it once was. I'll leave it at that and not say more because I don't like to think of bringing our daughter home in terms of profits and losses.

There are many other things I am sure that are impacting the situation. The one thing I need to hold onto is and remember is that God is in control and can impact the situation in a greater way than anything or anybody else.

I ran across the following quote and it reminds me to not be idle and to make the most of the journey...

"This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson